Sunday, May 22, 2011

2011 Billboard Music Awards

Ah yes, an awards show. As much as I love me some good (Or decent) music and an awards show, I kind of dread music awards shows. It is always a red carpet full of hot messes, but I have learned (Well, tried) that I need to accept the artists' creativity for what it is. Or something cheesy like that. I mean, I try, but some are just really, really bad. That is why I favor the Oscar's, Golden Globes, etc. because they are classy and fancy and pretty and I just really wanna go, okay?! Anyway, I present to you the Billboard Music Awards. Whatever. Just kidding. We did have a few diamonds in the rough. Selenita, I'm talking to you.
Selena Gomez shut it DOWN tonight. Oh heavens. She looked gorgeous in this Dolce & Gabbana gown. Like, drop-dead, "I want reconstructive surgery to look like her," (Just kidding on that one) "No wonder Biebs loves her," Selena Gomez for the win, gorgeous. Look at her working not only the middle part and the slit, but the side cutouts. Well done, Selena. Well-freaking-done.
BIEBS. Look at his hair! Look at his face! Look at his coat. Oh that coat. I kind of love it. I would wear that as a chic blazer. I think I could totally pull it off. Hey Justin Bieber, give me a call or something. Oh crap, he's not legal yet, so I take that back. But if Selena Gomez can kiss him and touch his leg like that, then I can call him up and borrow his jacket. Right?...
Okay, due to the fact that Taylor Swift was looking exceptionally gorgeous tonight (This has "Eat your heart out, Joe Jonas" written all over it), I am going to ignore the fact that I am pretty sure she's worn this Elie Saab gown 100 times and I am going to ask for the 100th time that she please think outside of the box. For I am SO glad that she knows what she likes, etc. but I mean, for reals?
Okay, ever since I got back from Ke$ha's concert the other weekend, I have kind of been obsessed with Miss K-Money. Granted, she's still dirty and I'm still finding glitter on myself, but I can't NOT love her. She's too just well, Ke$ha. That being said, I do NOT like her Jad Ghanour dress. I do not like it at all. It's just, no. No. No. No. Her hair doesn't look too greasy though. Silver lining, people!
Ugh. Why do I always think Fergie Ferg is older than 36 years old? I think that's a lie. Oh, and I don't like this Herve Leger dress on her. Gosh, I really just don't like Herve Leger in general. Oh and maybe next time she shouldn't show up with legs the color of a carrot? Just food for though. *Insert cheesy drum "buh dum bum" sound here*
Holy. No. Nicki Minaj, I don't have energy for you today. But might I suggest removing the barnacles attached to your legs?...
What is up with Rihanna's Mom hair cut? I mean, for reals. I think the part that's pissing me off the most is that she still looks pretty. HOW DOES SHE DO IT? Oh and she's totally pulling off this Max Azria suit. It's ridiculous. And I must give her kudos (Yeah I know, kudos is back again) for wearing nude shoes. LOOK HOW MUCH LONGER HER LEGS APPEAR. See height challenged ladies? This could be you...
MEEP. I love Joe Jonas. I'm pretty sure I will always love Joe Jonas. I think he's just one of those guys who will always have my heart. There will always be that one guy (Okay, sometimes there are a few and granted I only met Joe Jonas for .209 seconds, but it was life changing. He liked my scarf, you guys...) and Joe is that one guy. I love him and although our celebrity name will be difficult (We can choose between Joerin and Eroe. See? We're kind of a lost cause) I can deal. I can't deal with his white shoes though. Maybe I just don't like the bottom of the shoes. Yep, that's it.
Despite the fact that Nicole Kidman wore black for the 10293th time in her life (That is the official black dress count number, by the way) I don't hate this one as much as I should. As much as I want to actually. Granted, I did do a double take because EVERY SINGLE TIME she's on the red carpet, whether it's for a movie or for an awards show I'm always like "Who is that? Oh, Nicole Kidman. What is she doing here? Remember when she was married to Tom Cruise? Yeah, that was weird. How is he still married to Katie Holmes? That's weird too. But I want a daughter like Suri Cruise. Wait, why am I thinking about Tom Cruise? What is Nicole Kidman doing there? Does she have a movie out?" Every. Single. Time, you guys. I can never figure out why Nicole Kidman is anywhere, but then I remember that she is married to Keith Urban and they're cute together. But seriously, that entire inner conversation happens every time I see her, which sometimes is a lot so I have to deal with that entire conversation every time. My life is rough, guys. So to sum THAT nonsense up, I like Nicole Kidman's outfit, despite the fact that she's worn black 10293 times and I think it's nice that she still supports her non-crazy husband. Although, didn't Keith Urbs go to rehab or something? It's hard to keep up. Hollywood should write a book on rehabs and celebrity love hexagons... Actually, I should write a book about that. I think it'd be really helpful.

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