Elton John’s AIDS Foundation’s Oscar Viewing Party

I hope that one day I will be invited to Elton John's Annual AIDS Foundation's Oscar Viewing Party. I mean, it kind of sounds amazing. A bunch of stars arrived and we had some hot messes and some hot dresses. (I think I'm funny, sue me). A lot of the stars actually did some party hopping because they were at the Vanity Fair after party later. So sneaky.

Dianna Agron is back!! That breakup did her some good, apparently because although I don't like the length of her dress, I love everything else about it. I'm telling you, unless it's a cocktail dress, I don't want to see your shoes, ladies! But seriously, she redeemed herself and I am proud.

I LOVE everything about Ashley Tisdale's look. From head to toe, she looks amazing. Vanessa Hudgens, on the other hand kind of looks like a mess. See? Hot dress, hot mess. They're friends! Granted, I love Vanessa Hudgens' Marchesa dress, but the rest of her look is not good. I also think it's kind of funny that Baby V got a HUGE (and tacky) butterfly tattoo on her neck and has been making her hair bigger and fluffier, a la Hermione Granger Year 1-4, ever since. Maybe she regrets it already? Or maybe it's just scabby?... Either way, gross. And her shoes are ugly too. She can't catch a break, can she?

I'm sure she'd hate me if she ever read this, but Tori Spelling looks like her Mother. And that's not so good. None of this is good.

Kim Kardashian looks beautiful, but I feel like I've seen this dress before. I feel like I've seen it on HER before. Is that just me?... Due to the fact that she has such big earrings and her dress is so beautiful, I think she should've worn her hair in a bun or a ponytail instead.

Kelly Osbourne's hair is GIGANTIC. And her dress is way too long. I wonder what the E! Fashion Police will say, considering she's now a regular on the show and also considering the fact that this is not her best look. That's why they need me because I wouldn't dress ugly and I would have sassy things to say about the people who do dress ugly. *Cough* Jennifer Hudson's orange mess *Cough* That dress is haunting me, I swear.

Jenna Ushkowitz (Sidenote: Considering the fact that she has an unusual name, the fact that I spelled it right the first time is brag worthy.) Anyway, I don't love her dress. It's just there, you know. There's nothing special about it, so I'm going to vote no on this one.

Heidi Klum! What are you doing with your life?! You need to think about your life and dare I say it, you need to reflect on your decisions. Pun most definitely intended. I really don't like her Julien Macdonald mirrored dress. I feel like maybe Blake Lively could've pulled it off, what with the huge slit and such, but I don't love it on Heidi. Her hair is not good either. But her Louboutin's are amazing, I will give her that one. But seriously.

Oh, Hayden Panettiere. I know this Luca Luca dress isn't entirely your fault, but eh. I'll admit that it does look better on her than it did on the model, but still. The top is kind of unflattering. I don't know what to do with her, she's never impressed me much.

Florence Welch made an outfit change and as much as I hate to admit it, it's a lot better than the Valentino dress she wore earlier. It's still not great, but it's better.

I really don't like Emma Roberts' Jenny Packham dress which is a shame because I actually really like Jenny Packham. I don't like the sleeves, they're kind of ugly and the middle of the dress slightly resembles a spiderweb, no?

Mr. and Mrs. Madden also made an appearance and I hate everything about both of their outfits. Okay, that is dramatic. Joel's outfit is fine, but Nicole Richie is a hot mess. I mean, from her hair to her makeup to her "dress." I'm really not a fan.