I have to separate the Emmy Awards into three posts because I have about 63 pictures. It's giving me anxiety. A lot of things have been giving me anxiety lately; children, "Drive" (Yes, the Ryan Gosling movie. Leave me alone.), traffic, pictures of the Emmys, etc. I don't know why. I don't question it. So, here are the worst dressed from last night.
Olivia Munn bothers me. Her green curtain of a dress bothers me more. I mean, was it stuffed in a plastic bag in her trunk and then she remembered about it the day of the show?
Let's talk about something right now. I love Jane Krakowski. I think Jenna (Her character on "30 Rock." If you had to question that, I'm not sure we can be Internet acquaintances until you watch at least 2 seasons. And by 2 seasons, I mean all of them.) is kind of incredible. Her dress, however, is a little bit of the opposite. The opposite of incredible, I mean. It's just there. It's too long. It's weirdly shiny. And she's weirdly tan. I miss "30 Rock..." :(
The Fug Girls summed this up perfectly with a lovely little story and a true ending. "When I was like fifteen years old, I bought a pumice stone at The Body Stop - don't ask me what I thought I was going to do with it. I think I thought it was for my face. I may have used it once on my elbows. Mostly, it sat in the back of my linen closet and turned gray. And now Heidi Klum is wearing it." Also, what is her hair? I am NOT on board with it. If the pumice stone effect hadn't been added to the dress, there is a chance I could've liked it. Could have, people.
Julianna Margulies' Armani Prive gown is SO ugly. Okay, fine I'll backtrack. It had potential. If those weird little (And by little I mean huge) clear beads weren't stuck on in random places and if the top wasn't stiff and if her makeup was more defined and if her hair wasn't hideous... Okay, no. I hate it. I'm seeing that she's on some of the worst dressed of the night lists, so, that sucks. Her husband is dreamy though. I'd just like to throw that out there.
Claire Danes bothers me. I'm sure we have already discussed this. And her Oscar de la Renta gown looks heinous. The dress itself is kind of awful and it's WAY too tight. Like, way too tight. It looked even worse when she was on stage presenting. And her hair is just blah. Did she run there?...
Katie Holmes is becoming Nicole Kidman. Why? Oh, well I'll tell you. 1. She shows up to random events. I'm talking to you MTV VMAs. 2. I don't know why she shows up to events. 3. She is married to Tom Cruise. Nicole Kidman was married to Tom Cruise. 4. She wears ugly clothes. Her Calvin Klein dress looks way too big on her. And her top knot bun looks like the ones I do at the end of the night when I give up on my day.
Melissa Raunch, also known as "That Girl With the High-Pitched Voice" on "Big Bang Theory" wore a super ugly dress. It looks like the dress in "Cinderella" when she's running back from the ball and all of a sudden her carriage turns back into a rotten pumpkin and her dress is torn to shatters... Right? Also her head looks Photoshopped on her neck, but I don't know if that's necessarily her fault.
Yeah, it looks like Dianna Agron put her Roksanda Illncic dress on backwards. But she didn't. So that's depressing. And I need to see her shoes. They look heinous. Are they black? Do they have open toes? I can't.
When I saw that Loretta Devine was nominated, I had no idea who she was. Turns out, she's Mrs. Burke in "Grey's Anatomy." I watch that show and well, I liked it (Yes, past tense. Have you WATCHED it recently? Hot messes. So many hot messes.) but I'm not sure she should've been nominated. Nothing against her, but her role is so part-time it's almost nonexistent. So... But anyway, I guess I should talk about the dress. I HATE IT. It looked even worse on TV. It was legitimately so ugly and unflattering. And okay, I'm going to address the elephant on the red carpet, where is her bra? Where is her stylist? I'm just saying... At least she looks like she's enjoying herself. I'm sure she's not as happy today now that she's seen the red carpet pictures though.
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