Golden Globes Part I

I decided to separate the Golden Globes into two parts because Lord knows I'll go crazy putting them all in one post. I also decided I'm going to separate it into the best and worst. I am going to respect the whole "First the worst, second the best" thing because well, I can. Alright, here we go! (P.S. How awful is the rain? Clearly God was not thinking of the nominee's hair when he made it rain today).

Olivia Wilde. Olivia Freaking Wilde. What are you wearing? This may or may not be my least favorite of the night. This beaded jet and silver Gucci gown reminds me of armor. Again, probably not the look she was going for. I hope.

Oh, Diane Kruger. I want to love your Christian Lacroix dress, but I can't. Maybe it's the color, or the sleeves? I haven't decided yet, I just know that I don't like it.

Holy boobs, Mariah Carey! YOU ARE FORTY YEARS OLD. Just remember that, okay? I realize that you are having a hard time remembering that, but please try. Just stick your "golden globes" back into that potentially cute (on someone else) Herve Leger by Max Azria gown. Modest is hottest, right? Just kidding, it's not. But this isn't hot at all.

I adore Alexander McQueen, but I don't adore this particular dress. Sorry, Cameron Diaz.

Why was Vanessa Whatsherface there in this awful dress? You don't have a movie. You don't have a show. Get off the red carpet. Okay, she may or may not have a show. I don't care enough to check.

I never like Nicole Kidman's outfits, so I guess it comes as no surprise that I hate her Nina Ricci gown.

Here's the thing, I actually really like Julia Roberts. "Runaway Bride," anyone? But this isn't red carpet or Golden Globe material. It'd be cute on a date or a night out on the town, but this YSL dress is a no on the red carpet. I'll admit that I do really like her Van Cleef & Arpels necklace, though.

I don't like Halle Berry and I sure as crap don't like her Kaufman Franco dress. I need to sit her and Mariah Carey down and have a serious talk about what is and isn't appropriate to wear at their age.

AH! Cher! What the hell are you wearing? Sure, she's fantastic, but no. This is awful. Christina Aguilera's Versace gown isn't cutting it either. The top half reminds me of a robot. I'm not sure that's what she had in mind...